Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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