their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
