I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
