well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize