this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
