You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Quick, to the slutcave!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
