you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
