WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I would ride that face into the sunset
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
