he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
