Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize