i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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