If that was your dad, he is hot
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
My vagina is very pro this idea
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