It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
