Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
