I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
