Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
