If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
