Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
