Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
