I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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