Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
