Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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