you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
