Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
