If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
