im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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