I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
no you cant smoke seaweed
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
