Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
