5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
