Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I need water and some morals
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
