I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Rumble strips road head = magical
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
