Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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