He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
