Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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