theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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