everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
