some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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