Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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