Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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