if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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