I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
