so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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