It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
