dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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