she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i believe in u and ur pee
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