I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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