I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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