Its about making memories worth repressing
We got so high we made milksteak
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
