weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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