This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
