so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
