it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
