It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
