Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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