I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
