When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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