wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
