He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
