Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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