just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
