she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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