Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
