Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize