her vagine was all disorganized.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
